Fixture

I have been speaking
to myself; rattling - numb -
on and on
about darkness
and how crowded it can be.
I have been speaking
to ears, stuffed with cotton.

I have been thinking
about this king named James
and his version
on how things went down.

I have been gnawing
on my finger tips
anxious about how I view myself;
their is little holiness
in these matters.

I have been shifting
my legs
bouncing on the balls of my feet,
caring less;
less about the solution.
My issue is with these
blinders,
(made in America)
assembled in my mind.
I can’t see them thus I can’t remove them.

It is not so much about indecision
as it is about my usefulness;
the trajectory to a meaningful end.
I have been bored, lately
as I read the books of others;
hardly comprehending
the context and even lesser
the wholeness
of the concepts.

I am mighty
in my approach to the impossible.
Though, it is easier
to believe in what has -
than what has never been.
I have been pondering
the futility in function;
how my desires - are a wash
a stale,
frozen intention.

My Journey begins at sunrise
and ends at sunset.
I concede I am only man,
as human as they come.

I do neither more, nor less
of my ability.
It is a normal consequence
for people of my type;
to play through long evil
so to acquaint myself
with quick death.

I light my own ‘cell’
as I realize my nothingness.

I am not greater than the sum;
only a slice of eternity,
becoming dim in my mortality.
Like a fixture
in the dining hall of the Lord.

December 2005